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Weekender

The Weekender's all up in your area with children, celebs and wearable bacon

Posted by James Cartwright,

The secrets of The Weekender’s relentless energy and encyclopaedic knowledge of whimsical internet detritus have long been the subject of much debate, but have remained a closely guarded secret. Until now. You see, The Weekender exists in a state of perpetual hyperactivity, brought about by a regimented diet of caffeine pills, chocolate milk and Jammy Dodgers. In this heightened state of awareness it reclines in the centre of a multi-screen interface that bombards it with meme after meme of Paris Hilton photographs, Rick Astley and cats. You thought it was all fun and games over at The Weekender’s house right? Wrong, this is a serious business. Laugh with me!

Best of the site:

This week we hung out with magazine cool-kids Vice, and talked publishing, parties and pissing people off, marvelled at the experimental poster creations of French designers, Helmo, and took some time to have an in-depth look at Hugo and Marie’s work for Rihanna’s latest album. Yeah, good.

Best of Best of the Web:

This week on Best of the Web, if we weren’t immersed in the womb-like plastic bubble of experimental living space Cocoon, we were waxing lyrical about the economic and social history of peanut butter or just thinking about what a great guy Jon Stewart is. He’s pretty great.

Best of the rest:

Creative Review served us up a delicious helping of Apple’s return to form in the world of print advertising, Dezeen showed us how to make our own glass-blown particle accelerator with the help of talented Hackney scientists Supercollider, and Port introduced us to one of the nicest, most philosophical piano repairmen we’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Tweet of the Week

“After 2+ years of living by myself, I think it’s cooler to have someone around to talk to than the freedom to workout naked”.
@JesseMoynihan has a point – there’s really only so many nude press-ups a person can enjoy.

Questionably witty children of the week

If you were assigned the task of moderating a forum on which scores of children posted their own made-up jokes, it would be heinously unprofessional, not to mention potentially illegal, to take the jokes you moderated and publish them on your own website for all the world to see. Unprofessional but HILARIOUS!

Celebrity crib of the week

Want to live in a house previously owned by Steve from Iron Maiden? Not likely. Want to snoop around the tastelessly decorated baroque nightmare of a house previously owned by Steve from Iron Maiden? Now you’re talking!

Culturally confused footballer of the week

You’ve all seen it, you’ve all laughed at it, but let’s just have one more look at Joey Barton mastering the French language. Up the boot!

Misguided clothing of the week

With winter closing in you’re going to be in need of a thick, wooly neck warmer to keep you from catching your death on those cold frosty mornings. But what style to go for? A chunky knit, a cashmere pashmina, or a giant piece of bacon? Nope, we can’t decide either.

Cat-themed internet thing of the week

The premise is simple; pictures of cats that look like pin-ups. Do you need to know any more?

Now watch me scoff this bag of biscuits!

Jc

Posted by James Cartwright

James started out as an intern in 2011 and is now one of our two editors. He oversees Printed Pages magazine and content wise has a special interest in graphic design and illustration. He also runs our online shop Company of Parrots and is a regular on our Studio Audience podcast.

Most Recent: Weekender View Archive

  1. Weekender-list

    Not that you need to be quiet for this showstopper; if the Weekender was a film, it’d most likely be the grotesque, just-about-legal but nonetheless strange story of a desert island. It’s lorded over by a tyrannical prince clad from head to toe in purple velvet who was incapable of walking three steps without doing the Macarena. He wouldn’t be the only weirdo on the island though, no sir; he’d be accompanied at all times by an a cappella choir of singing and dancing monkeys who happily joined him in his choreography.

  2. Weekender-list

    Ladies and gentlemen of the world, today our fair isle (Great Britain) is experiencing a HEATWAVE. It’s the prime annual opportunity for us to embody every stereotype better nations have about us; that we drink too much beer (true), that we don’t wear enough clothes (also often true) and that we get burnt at the merest glimpse of the sun (see above.) Whether you’re joining us in partaking in all of the above over a slightly too competitive game of rounders and potentially a BBQ’d sausage, we wish you the best fun. If you’re sitting in a deck chair watching disapprovingly over us, we’re cool with that too. Either way, have THE BEST WEEKEND. Here’s some stuff we liek to get you started.

  3. Weekender-list

    Guess what? It’s your favourite time of week again! It’s time for delicious big breakfasts at your local greasy spoon before a hungover marathon run of The Good Wife. It’s time for sitting on rooftops drinking strawberry flavoured cider and swapping silly stories with your friends. It’s time for doing your washing and having picnics in the park, and it’s time, of course, for this week’s fantastic instalment of the It’s Nice That Weekender. Enjoy!

  4. Main

    HELLO FRIENDS! Welcome to the weekend, the two days a week you get to reflect on your busy, expensive, boring life, and then numbing it with booze and barbecues. Hey that sounded pretty pessimistic, I’m sorry. What I really meant was “OH SHIT IT’S THE WEEKEND!” It’s time to swim in a lido, call your best friend, watch Take Me Out in bed, play Candy Crush in a hammock, introduce your dog to your friend’s dog. You name it, it’s yours.

  5. Mainwe

    Hi gang! If you’re reading this you’re probably not at Glastonbury, and neither are we so that makes us friends. We’ve spent our weekend listening to Eminem with the air conditioning on, which is kind of like our own mini festival – right? We often wonder what everyone else listens to at work, as we usually go for a heady mix of Simon and Garfunkel, Rihanna and that Bill Wyman song about him seducing a much younger woman. If you have any suggestions of what else we can listen to, or what you tend to listen to as you punch an Apple keyboard with the blunt ends of your fingertips for money, get in touch.

  6. List

    If I could, I’d don a sparkly, silver cape and a severe black bob wig while gazing into a crystal ball à la Mystic Meg to envision what all of you lot are going to get up to this weekend. I like to think I’d spot all manner of illicit affairs, summer solstice-inspired weirdness and wild, finger-forsaking parties.

  7. Weekender-list

    What’s happened today, you ask? Well, a live quail chick has hatched from what was thought to be a chicken’s egg, a Kim Kardashian lookalike has taken over as head of a Mexican drug cartel, a poodle wore trainers and, oh yeah, we brought you our weekly fun-package, the Weekender, with a montage of Leo DiCaprio freaking out and an Mmmbop reference. Life’s just like that though, isn’t it? You’ve got to take the highs with the lows. Can’t you tell me who will still care? No you can’t, ‘cause you don’t know. Yes, let’s get on with it, shall we.

  8. Weekender-list

    Know what the best thing about Fridays is? For the next two days, there’s absolutely no telling what could happen. Unleashed from the shackles of your desk like a tiny young butterfly thrust forth from the loins of its cocoon, there’s as much likelihood that you’re going to hop into your souped-up jeep and bounce your way around your hometown in time to a Nicki Minaj song as there is that you’ll end up stuck at home on Saturday night eating shepherds’ pie with your nan and her next-door neighbour Dorothy. Anything could happen, and we’re here to help you embrace the magic. Whether your fate be in the jeep or the shepherds’ pie, let the Weekender take you there.

  9. Main

    Hello and welcome, and what a fun week it has been. In the It’s Nice That offices we’ve mainly been eating caramel shortbread, watching goslings eat flowers, drawing pictures for the guy in the cafe down the road and making fun of Printed Pages editor James Cartwright for how he used to be a goth. THEN we found out that it was World Goth Day on Thursday!!! Can you imagine our glee. And so, this week’s Weekender is now 100% goth-themed. Apart from the bits you might have missed, they’re just normal.

  10. 12

    If Monday afternoons are the squashed spam sandwiches that your mum tucks into your lunchbox and that you physically retch while trying to swallow, then Friday afternoons are the fish and chips that you will continue to eat until the whole damn bag is empty, and you won’t stop short of licking the greasy paper from. (Still with me?)

  11. Weekender-list

    Let me set the scene for you. It’s the summer of 2003, you’re sat out in the park with a WKD blue, your mates are absent-mindedly kicking a ball around and you’re trying to hide the spare cardi that your mum thrust at you before leaving the house in a conveniently-placed nearby bush. It’s not even that cold, anyway. You’re listening to this absolute banger of a song. Altogether now: “So baby gimme that toot toot, lemme give you that beep beep…” Welcome to the Weekender.

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    Welcome, weekenders! What are you doing this time? Going for a nice drive? Going to museums? Or just doing absolutely nothing? If it’s the latter, we’ve prepared a real feast for you below, with video clips and nice articles to get you through the weekend. So get into bed with a bottle of wine, get your laptop on your chest and enjoy this week’s Weekender.

  13. Mainwe

    You know how eating a pile of fish and chips makes you feel like if someone pushed you over and you fell on a puddle you’d drown? Or how watching scary films makes you feel like you can’t go upstairs? Or gossiping behind someone’s back is really mean but really fun? Well, the Weekender is there to make you feel warm. Not nice warm, uneasy warm. The warm you feel when you run for the bus in a polyester turtleneck, or the warm you feel when you arrive on said bus and sit on a seat to find yourself asking “Is this heated?”