Last time I looked at the clock it was about 3pm. It’s now 6.34pm, and the year is 2027, but can I tear my crows-footed eyes from Very Man ? Good god, no. This is, of course, an exaggeration; but one that’ll hopefully illustrate how compelling, brilliant and bloody weird Very Man is. The site gives you a sweet lumbering little character to play with in almost inconceivable ways: you dress him, you dictate his background, his movements, his physical characteristics and vital details such as whether or not he wears a cloud, or an Elvis quiff on his head. It might sound like nothing new, but until you’ve had a go, it’s hard to believe just how bloody strange and painstakingly considered this whole thing is. Still don’t grasp how addictive this thing is? Try telling us that once you’re deep into experiments with “butt amount,” “human pouch” and the “chicken nuggets” effect tool. Only you won’t tell us, because you’ll be too busy playing Dr Frankenstein over on Very Man. Goodbye, productivity; hello little squirming big butt Elvis!