Life, if you’ve momentarily forgotten, can be quite stressful. Your inbox feels like a never-ending game of Tetris, you’ve not eaten breakfast yet this week, and your housemate’s decided to implement a blanket heating-on-after-7PM rule despite the fact last year’s energy bill was big enough to topple a minor European state. Tired, exhausted, and weary: that’s you.
Swimming isn’t working and neither is that app you paid a fiver for one dismal Sunday morning too many. You want to get into mindfulness, of course you do, but it just isn’t happening. Until now. Maybe. Possibly. Why now? Well, today is the day that farm-to-table chicken connoisseur KFC celebrates World Mindfulness Day by launching a brand new online portal that aims to “bring the fun to mindfulness,” with a deep fried approach to a very contemporary topic.
A collaboration with Mother London, KFChill offers the colonel’s fans a chance to switch off from the world around them by diving deep into a bucket of ambience. You won’t find Brian Eno or Sarah Davachi chowing down on a Zinger Tower meal here. Instead, a series of chicken-generated “pink noises” – a type of sound in which every octave carries the same power or a perfectly consistent frequency, helping the listener to really relax and focus – theoretically distract the listener from the humdrum horror of life’s quotidian quibbles.
The noises, all allegedly generated in KFC’s very own kitchens, include bacon sizzling away like a Brit in Benidorm, some seriously simmering gravy burbling in a vat, and a wodge of chicken getting the deep-fried treatment. Each plays for a solid hour, should you need 60 minutes of downtime.
“Forget falling rain or a crackling fire,” says Mother’s Hermeti Balarin. “Nothing beats the sound of frying chicken or sizzling bacon to get your mind to relax.”
Whether or not these feature on your super trendy friend’s latest ambient show on NTS is to be seen.