Nintendo appoints bloke called “Bowser” to incredibly senior position

Sometimes, just sometimes, the news likes to take a break from war, famine, and pestilence. Skateboarding ducks, McDonald’s bunging bits of bacon in the Big Mac for seemingly no reason, a man called Doug Bowser being promoted to being head of video game giant Nintendo’s American operations. That sort of thing.

Now, as much as we love both skateboarding and burgers at It’s Nice That, it’s the Bowser story we’re going to focus on. We’ll say it again: Nintendo, a hardware and software manufacturer arguably best known for the Super Mario series of plumbing-based platformer games where the titular tube-dweller is engaged in an internal battle to save his beloved Princess Peach from being snaffled away into the shadows by a dastardly beast called Bowser, have given one of their top jobs to Doug Bowser.

Bowser is set to take up his new position in April, replacing the outgoing Reggie Fils-Aime. Reports that he’ll be installed in a sewage system and forced to eat strength-giving mushrooms before repeatedly stomping on terrible little creatures called “Goombas” are unconfirmed. And entirely generated by It’s Nice That.

The news of Bowser’s appointment was broken by the American arm of the Japanese company via a lightly humorous video posted on Twitter on 21 February.