“You say people gloss over when you mention your day job, so don’t mention it!”

Creative Career Conundrums is a weekly advice column from If You Could Jobs. Each week their selected panel of professionals from the creative industry answers your burning career questions to help you navigate the creative journey.

This week’s question:

I have tried everything and I mean everything! I’ve gone to portfolio reviews, exhibitions, networking events, gotten mentors, grabbing coffees, but nothing and no one seems to be sticking. I genuinely come up to people and as soon as I mention my day job (not creative related), I see their eyes gloss over and already start looking over my shoulder. I have many creative endeavours but I seem to already lose them at the first impression before I could even talk about it.

I approach each conversation with genuine connection and curiosity. But I’m not afforded the same. It’s really disheartening. I don’t what to do. It’s already hard enough to make new connections as an adult. I’m really trying... Am I doing all things wrong?

Why is it so hard to form a network?

Alex Bec, co-founder of It’s Nice That, Creative Lives in Progress and If You Could Jobs:

What I love about your question is that you are clearly passionate, committed and thoughtful in your quest to grow your network – with that I’m certain it will happen for you.

My first piece of advice here is simple. You say people gloss over when you mention your day job, so don’t mention it! Especially not early on in your conversation. You say you have loads of creative endeavours, so lead with them and make them the first impression of you. Passion is infectious, and if your creative work is where your passion lies; don’t give the people you’re chatting to any excuse not to hear about it.

Secondly, as you’re already doing so much, I would try and see out someone you know very well, that you trust and, crucially, someone who will be brutally honest and candid with you. Speak to them about what’s happening and why they think it is. They know you better than me(!) and you may need some tough feedback on your approach to develop.

Finally, maybe you’re not seeking people out in the right environments, or at the right events? Are there passions or loves you have (running, cooking, etc.) where you might have more luck finding people on your wavelength? Seek out some of those places adjacent to the creative world you’re looking to enter, and trust a little more serendipity. Also, why not create something yourself that will entice the people you’re trying to meet or connect with? What would it look like to organise something that has real value to them, and become the host, rather than the participant…?

Keep going, and best of luck out there.

In answering your creative career conundrums we realise that some issues need expert support, so we’ve collated a list of additional resources that can support you across things that might arise at work.

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